Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened

Over the past 3 years, I’ve tried my hardest to make amends for my actions that occurred while in my emotional affair.  Though I’ve made my share of mistakes, this whole process has opened my eyes to my own faults as a person and has been the most painful learning experience of my life. As [...]

Teenage Love and the Emotional Affair

Aug 1, 2011  |  under Emotional Affairs  |  by

It has become quite obvious that teenage love is a lot like an emotional affair.  For the last two months cupid has hit our house, and for the first time in our daughters’ lives they both have acquired steady boyfriends. This was something that I definitely was not looking forward to knowing full well what [...]

Is an Emotional Affair Relationship Complete?

Jun 28, 2011  |  under Emotional Affairs  |  by

  Last weekend I volunteered to work a baseball tournament.  It was a simple job as all I had to do was monitor the time of the games and call the tournament director with the official final scores.  I went to the first field armed with a bucket of baseballs and a bag of books [...]

Perceptions of the OP Over Time

Mar 28, 2011  |  under After the Affair, Emotional Affairs  |  by

  A week or so ago, one of our readers posted a comment where he asked me to list things I thought I knew about Tanya (the OW). How I felt about her in the “affair fog” and facts (character, her history) that I learned about her along the way.  The reader also asked me [...]

We Were Just Like Roommates During the Emotional Affair

  When the emotional affair is revealed and you began to have the conversation about how it could have happened, I bet you heard many of the same stupid things that I heard:  “I love you, but I am not in love with you.” “We have nothing in common any more.” Or “We have been [...]

Talking About the Emotional Affair Still Stirs Up Past Pain

  Every week, Doug, Jeff Murrah and I engage in a discussion for our Affair Recovery Group about a particular issue concerning affair recovery.  Each session has been so helpful and informative, and I feel I have gained so much insight to the point that it has helped my recovery tremendously. However, as enlightening as [...]

47 Lessons Learned From an Emotional Affair

  I know that we all are at different stages in the healing process from either an emotional affair or a sexual affair. A common thread that we hear regardless of what stage one is in, is the fear that things will never be the same again in the marriage or relationship.  The fact is [...]

Our Own Emotional Affair

Lately I have been putting much thought into my long journey to forgiveness after Doug’s emotional affair, and trying to figure out why it was so difficult to reach.  As a result, I began reconstructing our affair recovery and analyzing each step. It is ironic how I can now remember the details and the activities [...]

Don’t Let the Cheater’s Story Become Your Story

We’ve talked a lot recently about the fantasies that are inherent before, during and after the affair.  Today I want to concentrate on how the fantasy affected the way I dealt with the information Doug gave me during his emotional affair. Basically, I made mistakes as to how I reacted, causing our recovery from an [...]

Don’t Take the Cheating Spouse’s Story Personally

When I was first recovering from Doug’s emotional affair, I would search the internet and read books that offered good advice. Often the advice was to do this, or not to do that. I wanted to follow the suggestions but it was difficult because I really didn’t understand the purpose of it.  I was uncomfortable [...]

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