ptsd and affairs

Trauma Series Part One: PTSD and Affairs

By Sarah P. Anytime there is an affair, trauma is not far around the corner. In fact, I have never spoken to a betrayed spouse who says something to the extent of: “Yeah, my spouse’s affair was no big deal. It’s just one of those things—no more hurtful than getting home late for dinner.” If […]

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codependency recovery

Codependency: Don’t Fall Into This Trap – 5 Steps to Codependency Recovery

One of the topics that we mention now and then is the topic of codependency.  Why is codependency an important topic? Well, in short, codependency creates unhealthy marriages. But, codependency has what I refer to as a ‘positive side’ and a ‘negative side.’ But, here is the kicker— even the positive side of codependency is destructive. […]

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sense of self

Danger Ahead – You Can Live Without Your Spouse, But Not Without Yourself

Infidelity can annihilate our sense of self. By Sarah P. From the time we are children, we are told that when we grow up we must find a prince or princess charming and get married. Much of the mass media trades on this idea. It is so ingrained in our society that people rarely question it. […]

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You Decide

Darling You’ve Got to Let Me Know: Should I stay or should I go? – You Decide

This is the latest installment of our ‘You Decide’ series where you will provide your opinion on a fictional affair scenario. In this particular scenario, Brandy is blindsided by Mark’s affair and is unsure is she should divorce him or not. Mark and Brandy have been together for twenty years. They have three children: one at […]

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Is It Possible to Recover from an Affair

Translating Affair Speak – Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Spouse?

By Sarah P. Have you ever noticed that your wayward spouse says some of the most off-the-wall things sometimes? Never in a million years would you have expected some things to come out of the mouth of your dearest and beloved husband or wife. Yet, there you are, standing in disbelief, while your husband/wife is […]

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Open 'Mic'

Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #27

It’s actually been since mid-January that we’ve had an open discussion.  So, we thought it’s a good time for Open Mic #27 !   In case you didn’t know, or are a new reader, this is where you guys call the shots and discuss the topics that you want to discuss. We know there must be some things […]

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the honeymoon phase is coming to an end

Looks Like the Honeymoon Phase is Coming to an End

In case you didn’t know, Linda’s brother had an affair, divorced his wife and married his affair partner. They claimed they were ‘soul mates’ and she made his life wonderful, made him feel young again, yada, yada.  Now we see signs that the honeymoon phase is coming to an end. We only see him and his […]

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talk about infidelity

The Big Five: Gottman’s Communication Techniques to Talk about Infidelity

By Sarah P. It’s almost always a struggle for couples to communicate about topics that matter to one but not the other, especially if this topic references past hurts. Unfortunately, just talking about such heated topics can cause a fight. When marriage becomes one fight after another, most couples withdraw from hot topics. After all, […]

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You Decide

You Decide: Ron and Maria – Living in Affair Limbo

This is the latest installment of our ‘You Decide’ series where you will provide your opinion on a fictional affair scenario. In this particular scenario, we tell the story of Ron and Maria and their all-to-common tale of being in affair limbo. Ron and Maria have been married for 25 years.  Their marriage has always […]

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ADHD Contributed to an Affair

Is It Possible that Adult ADHD Contributed to an Affair?

Why you should ask if adult ADHD may be the elephant in the room. By Melissa Orlov When your partner has an affair, one of your first instincts is to try to figure out what happened.  What led you both to this place?  One possible factor that neither partners, nor therapists, commonly consider is that […]

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