One of the hardest things to deal with while recovering from infidelity are the affair triggers that the betrayed encounter on a regular basis. They can be anything from passing a certain hotel or restaurant, hearing a particular song on the radio, hearing your spouse say certain words, etc. I’ve come to the conclusion that it seems the worst culprit for affair triggers is television.
After our exhausting weekend, it felt very nice just to spend Monday evening vegetating in front of the TV in my comfortable chair, while Linda was sprawled out on the couch. At first we were switching back and forth between a baseball game and “No Reservations,” but soon the girls finished their beautifying process for the night and decided to come down to join Linda and I.
Being teenagers they tend to like to watch the sit-coms. So we settled in to watch the popular Monday night lineup of shows on CBS. Though they were somewhat entertaining, each and every one of the three shows we watched had some mention of infidelity or affairs in them.
To top that off, the following day Good Morning America’s top story was about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newly disclosed “love child” from an affair he had, followed two segments later by the story about the guy from France, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who is accused of sexually assaulting a maid at a hotel. And by the way, he’s married and has a previous history of this sort of thing. These two stories continue to be featured throughout the week.
I think that Linda is somewhat immune to many affair triggers anymore, though she may blurt out something like, “Men are stupid.” But they do make me cringe every time the subject, or even the word “affair” comes up, because I think that there has to be some sort of affair related thoughts running through her head.
We do enjoy watching movies at home on pay-per-view occasionally, but we have become much more selective of the types of movies that we watch. No longer do we watch any movies where we feel the subject revolves around infidelity, nor do we even watch “chick flicks” where the theme centers around falling in love and such. That selectiveness cuts out a good percentage of the movies that are out there.
It’s certainly a shame that my emotional affair has seeped into virtually every aspect of our life, but it’s a cruel reality and is something that needs to be managed so that Linda won’t be exposed to the affair triggers as much. One answer might be just to turn off the TV.