October 2011 Archives - Emotional Affair Journey

Dave Carder on Why Men Stay After an Affair

Posted on 31. Oct, 2011 by Linda.

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Last Thursday I wrote a post about how I still felt the pain from the thoughts of why Doug really decided to stay in our marriage. Today I wanted to follow up on that a bit and share with you some wonderful information from one of our favorite authors, Dave Carder. Dave is the author [...]

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After the Emotional Affair – The Thought of Him Leaving Still Causes Pain

Posted on 27. Oct, 2011 by Doug.

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“There were never any promises made on my end or hers. She pushed for me to leave and I think that she probably had confidence that I would at some point.” That was Doug’s response last week when he replied to a question from a reader about if he had promised Tanya that he [...]

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Discussion – Can We Really Change Our Partner?

Posted on 26. Oct, 2011 by Doug.

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We have discussed in the past whether or not someone is “once a cheater, always a cheater,” as well as the possibilities that a cheater has some sort of character flaw that was responsible for their infidelity. This week we want to delve into the notion of whether or not a cheater (or anyone for [...]

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Cars and Relationships – Routine Maintenance Eliminates Major Repairs

Posted on 24. Oct, 2011 by Doug.

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One of our long-time readers, Michael, has a blog of his own called “Am I a Good Husband” and he recently wrote a post that I thought was very good. In the post he presents a great analogy of how sometimes we tend to not take care of our automobiles the way we should until [...]

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Holy Crap We’re Fifty!

Posted on 20. Oct, 2011 by Linda and Doug.

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We’re not sure that we ever mentioned it previously, but Linda and I share something else in common – birthdays. Well, I fibbed a little there as our birthdays are actually a day apart. When we first met, it was apparent that this was just one more thing that we had in common. This year [...]

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Discussion: Double Standard For Men and Women Cheaters?

Posted on 19. Oct, 2011 by Linda.

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While doing the research for yesterday’s post, a comment stuck out to me and I thought it would be a good topic for discussion. I would say it’s rather controversial, so I hope we can get a variety of opinions on this. Here was the person’s comment: “When men have affairs, it’s because he wants [...]

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Save Your Marriage by Cheating?

Posted on 17. Oct, 2011 by Linda.

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Here’s one, from the “I can’t believe what I’m reading” file. In the article below, journalist Iris Krasnow promotes cheating as a way to save your marriage. If the author and the few people quoted below were the ones who had to live through the pain that an affair causes then perhaps they would feel [...]

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Affair Recovery – Moving On After infidelity

Posted on 13. Oct, 2011 by Doug.

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There are a lot of books about affair recovery, healing and moving on after infidelity, but they all seem to be written for couples who want to stay together after an affair. What if that’s not the case and you decide that you must end your relationship, and move on? Or maybe you have already [...]

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Discussion: Advice for the Newly Married

Posted on 12. Oct, 2011 by Doug.

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One of our readers (“NotOverIt”) last week suggested that perhaps we should all pitch in with as much advice as possible to come up with a guide book of sorts for newlyweds. I think the title she suggested for the guide was, “How to Avoid Screwing Up Thirty Years Down the Road.” I thought it [...]

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Fear, Shame and Disconnection

Posted on 10. Oct, 2011 by Linda.

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The following quote is from the book “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” by Patricia Love, Ed.D., and Steven Stosny, Ph.D. and I thought that it was very relevant to emotional affair recovery and the situation that Doug and I shared Saturday morning. “Marlene and Mark arrived at their chronic state of [...]