We have been receiving so many comments and emails recently from affair victims who are voicing frustration about their cheating spouse’s affairs, as well as the actual state of their marriages. When I read the comments I feel frustrated, angry and hopeless, as I remember feeling the exact same way two years ago – not [...]
Hello everyone! After the affair, many of us are looking for answers. “Why did this happen?” What could I have done so that it wouldn’t have happened?” “What is the other person like?” The list goes on and on. We are also looking for something from the cheating spouse. A true apology, to show remorse, [...]
Dr. Robert Huizenga, in his book “Break Free From the Affair,” recommends victims “back off” from the cheating spouse after learning of an affair. We received an email recently asking me to clarify more about what exactly I did when “backing off” after the affair. I can attest to the fact that it isn’t an [...]
Somebody sent us this letter via email over the weekend and we felt that it was pretty powerful stuff. It is from a woman who is apparently working hard at surviving an affair – her own – as well as the backlash of emotions and painful feelings felt by her husband as a result. What [...]
Doug had some minor surgery done yesterday, so I took the day off to be with him. After we returned home, Doug decided to take a nap as he was feeling tired from the procedure. While he was asleep I started to delve into “How to Survive an Affair” again, and decided to re-read the [...]
I decided not to confront Tanya after Doug’s emotional affair for reasons I will discuss during my webinar with Dr. Robert Huizenga on October 6. However, after reading some comments on the subject recently, something really stuck with me. The statement that rang true for me was, “I became real to the other person.” During [...]
Hello everyone! We get a fairly large volume of comments and emails from mostly victims of marital affairs. One particular email recently struck a nerve with us. The email was from a woman who basically blamed herself entirely for her husband’s affair. The email was full of phrases such as, “I should have done…” “If [...]
One of the issues that is common amongst victims of marital affairs is dealing with the various affair triggers that prompt the reoccurrence of intense feelings and emotions. Yesterday’s post dealt with Linda’s reaction to the D-day anniversary of my emotional affair, and I had a brief exchange with Jeff Murrah LPC, regarding the importance [...]
Friday was the 2 year anniversary of our D-day of my emotional affair and it has been an incredible trigger for Linda. The fact that it’s the anniversary is bad enough, but what really brought it on was a comment that one of our daughters made the night before. We were having dinner and were [...]
One of the many questions that face the victim of a marital affair is whether or not to confront the other person. Understand that there is not much good information on this subject. We have approached the subject on this site both as a discussion and then as a summary blog post as a result [...]
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Infidelity causes intense emotional pain--anger, disbelief, fear, guilt and shame. But an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.
